Sunday, April 13, 2008

Black Familes, Child Support and Bill Cosby: Black Scholars Debate the Issue

by Jimi Izrael

Singer Sean Levert, serving a 22-month term for felony non-payment of $85,000 in child support, is dead after being found unresponsive in his jail cell. The family is asking the FBI to investigate, but Levert should have never been in jail in the first place—men shouldn't be put in jail for non-payment of support.

For those unfamiliar with the law, men who are $2500.00 or more in arrears in their child support payments (based on approximately 15% of the man's gross income) can have their driver's license revoked, their property sold at auction or in some cases, be put in jail. Sure—there are a lot of irresponsible fathers out there who don't want to be responsible for their children. More often than not, fathers become unemployed. And if you happen to get a job making less money, child support agencies are not inclined to lower your obligation. Some men pay what they can, but if you are obligated to pay $490 a month in support, and can only pay $200, the $290 gets tacked on. So the following month, you owe $780 smackers, but can still only pay $200.

See how easy it is to get behind?

Child support agencies enforce a woman's right to money but not a man's right to see his kids. Women are not obligated to allow the father to see his children, and are rewarded with public assistance for having as many babies as possible, to the extent that it's become a hustle of sorts and a strain on resources.

When Sean and I talked for an article I wrote, he very pointedly didn't mention his children on the record. Off the record, we talked and laughed about our respective baby-mama drama. I went to school with Sean, and I'm going to miss his big, Levert laugh and sad to see him go under such undignified circumstances. He should not have been in jail.

I'm not saying that men don't need be held accountable, but the child support solution has to be fair to all parties involved.

Shouldn't we also hold women accountable for their irresponsible behavior? What does that look like?


Response to Jimi Izrael from Dr. Marc Lamont Hill, Temple University

Melissa,On Friday, I read an interesting and provocative blog post by our Root colleague Jimi Izrael. In his post, Izrael argues that the current child support laws are disproportionately stacked against the interests of men. I agree with Izrael that we need to reform current child support laws. In the current moment, as William Julius Wilson notes, child support laws serve as a “labor tax” that dissuade Black men from working traditional jobs. This is particularly true for previously incarcerated men, whose wages can be garnished up to 66 percent in order to repay outstanding support.

Unfortunately, the popular notion of the “deadbeat dad”, like the welfare queen of the 1980s, obscures the more fundamental problem: structural barriers to gainful employment. For this reason, we need to develop more realistic and humane approaches to child support for economically disadvantaged people.On the other hand, I disagree with Izrael’s argument that men should never be placed in jail for not paying support. Take, for example, Sean Levert, who died tragically while serving a 22-month prison sentence for felony non-payment of $85,000 in child support. While Izrael says that he shouldn’t have been in jail in the first place, I can’t imagine any alternative for someone who so wantonly ignores his responsibility.

Perhaps I’m biased because I pay child support every month while many of the brothers I know go to extravagant lengths to avoid taking care of their kids. Are some of these men experiencing financial trouble? No doubt. This is why I support government subsidies and debt forgiveness for people who truly need it. But many of the men I know, even those who earn solid middle class wages, are simply unwilling to make basic sacrifices in order to ensure that their child has food, clothing, and shelter. Would they let their children live on the streets? Probably not. But anything short of that means that it’s the mother’s responsibility. What do you think Melissa?

Is Jimi Izrael right that the law is too tough? Am I having a Bill Cosby moment over here in the way I’m critiquing men? Also, Jimi Izrael concludes by asking “Shouldn't we also hold women accountable for their irresponsible behavior? What does that look like?” How would you answer that question?


Response from Melissa Harris-Lacewell, Princeton University

Marc,I am having a little trouble responding to your call because fire is shooting out of my fingers and smoke out of my ears after reading Jimi’s blog.

I am not even a little bit objective and detached on this issue. I am a divorced mother and my solidly middle class, ex-husband has consistently paid half of his court ordered support for years. I don’t want to lock him up, but I wouldn’t mind kicking him in the leg with my best stilettos.

From where I stand irresponsibility is not the only possible explanation for single parenting. I did everything “right.” I dated my ex-husband for five years, finished my degree, got married, bought a house and then got pregnant and had my daughter. Still, I find myself living as a single parent. Life is complicated, none of us is fully autonomous and even good choices can lead to tough circumstances.

The law is not about punishing a parent for irresponsibility. The law is meant to protect the best interests of children. I am firmly convinced that in the vast majority of circumstances children’s best interests are served by ensuring that the non-custodial parent provides substantial financial support.

Paying this support will require discomfort and sacrifice. I assure you that being the custodial parent requires discomfort and sacrifice of all kinds.

I am no Bill Cosby and I don’t think we can behave our way to racial equality. On the other hand I know that the reason black folks in America have anything at all is because our mothers, fathers, aunties, grandpas and nanas did their very best even within the tremendously difficult circumstances they encountered. For our children we must do the same thing.

I believe that the interests of children are best served by establishing loving bonds with both parents. Assuming there is no abuse, our kids do best when they are allowed to love both parents unconditionally, no matter the failures and weaknesses of those parents. These bonds are nurtured through time, visits, phone calls, letters and even emails. It is the absent parent’s responsibility to initiate these encounters. It is the custodial parent’s responsibility to facilitate them.

We also foster these bonds by controlling the selfish impulse to speak negatively about the other parent. My mouth sometimes bleeds from biting my tongue in my daughter’s presence, but I believe that loving her dad and feeling loved by him are critically important to her sense of self.

That said, I think the courts are a terrible place for conducting the work of parenting. Jimi is absolutely wrong that courts are universally biased against fathers. The stories are too long, ugly and painful to tell, but I have seen the courts allow angry, vengeful parents to use children as tools of harassment rather than as subjects of loving concern. Fathers do this as much as mothers.

Courts care little for the complicated, personal, nuanced circumstances of our lives. Hear this: paying your support makes a hell of al lot more sense that paying a lawyer to get you out of paying your support. The support goes to enrich the life of your child, the court fees just make the lawyers rich.

Many matters of government policy affect the quality of lives for our children. Most of our kids are relegated to shockingly unequal public schools. Many must live in unsafe neighborhoods marked by crime, environmental hazards and daily reminders of hopelessness. Even our privileged kids are constantly navigating landmines of racial difference and anxiety that tears at the fabric of their self-esteem. As parents, let’s stop trying to punish each other and get focused on sacrificing for our kids so that we buffer them from these assaults.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Melissa Harris Lacewell does not know how some of the underlying laws work. She claims that the story is overblown when the author stated that women are seldom slapped for subversion of relationship a child would have with its father.

Here are several facts. States Attorney Generals get a federal kickback for every dollar of child support assessed and collected from guess who, usually the father. The State drags a father into court and states to a judge that it does not represent the mother. But it gives the mother ( or so called custodial parent, and too, without even questioning the mothers fitness to parent)free representation. Then it gives her an income review every three years of the fahters income.

Everyone packs and walks and guess what? A father must find the funds to sue himself if these mothers should then undermine and/or suvert the subsequent relationship that a child might enjoy with its father. Studies have determined that 40% do admit to doing this. Then there is the little matter of being resigned to 14% of the childs life; thats how much maximum time access allows a father under a standard visitation order. What fathers after being fleeced in this manner over his own children has even a roof over their heads? Suicide is at the highest levels for men. Did Sean Le Vert die of suicide?

What the government needs to do is to cease its part in indoctrination to babymaking those who would use government to attain nefarous ends. This is one part Welfare Reform is accountable for. Government instead seeks to find a victim, and as for Welfare before, Gov has continued to blame the man, the father while it sits in Denial about itself.

What the government needs to do is to give and assure a father to Equal Access to his kids and if necessary throw a lot of mothers in jail for their denials.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Gartner's point. I have tried very hard to make consistent payments on child support. But when I had no income, they would come after me for the same amount! All the while, he mother uses the money to take care of her 'other needs', allowing my son to live a miserly life. If I had the resources to share with my son, it would go right to him. But his mother sees me as a financial gravy train and tries to get as much out of me as possible.

Also, when I try to see my son, she does her "Queen of England"routine and doesn't let me see him unless SHE feels that it's ok or SHE isn't going to see her new boyfriend with him. Our relationship has deteriorated as a result of it. I have tried my hardest to see my child, but that bitch won't let me. Now, he barely talks to me because she tells him whatever she wants and doesnt' even let him know that I am busting my ass to send money to take care of him.

I would only be happy if the fucking child support people would put as much energy into maintaining the love the child needs as they do into getting the money the child needs. Their priorities are all messed up.

Anonymous said...

I guess I will never get over my continual amazement at the sense of entitlement to child support that custodial parents have. The only thing that equals their greed of money is their possessiveness of the children.
Don, the 14%er

dad4justice said...

The custodial parent can control a alienated father, who is treated as a cash cow whether he is working or not. The system smash dads down because they can and child support should be called child extortion payments. How else could the gravy train de family court fund itself. So many grave injustices are going unchecked in a sinister feminist dominated judicial system.

Unknown said...

To the child support court system,it is not personal;it is business.It has been my experience in court that the child is referred to as a number and not their name.The court system does not have our children best interest in mind.When our children have self-esteem issues,or discipline issues,or feeling a lack of love issues,the child support money,and courts,and lawyers do not and will not come to provide the essential intangibles that ONLY a father can provide to contribute to the emotional growth needed to develope as a happy and healthy young person.

Anonymous said...

I often find myself in amazement when single-parent women defend the premise that they, not the child, are entitled to child support. I work with low-income families and it makes me angry when children come to the school and are dressed poorly; however, the mother's hair, nails and toes are done and she has on the expensive name brand clothes. Not to mention, that these single custodial parents are partying to the wee hours of the morning and their children don't have food to eat the next day. In my opinion, the mothers that are constantly whining about child support are mainly made up of those individuals who are not going to do what's best for their children anyway. I have watched the men in my life bend over backwards with paying child support to the mother, but, yet, still buying the items that their say they want or need. I was disappointed that a highly educated mother such as Dr. Lacewell did not concede to the fact that many of the single custodial parents that do receive support are not doing what should be done for their children such as: clothing, shoes, school supplies, activities, and any remainder in a college fund--not paying the light, water, and gas bill and paying for clothes, hair and nails for the mother or paying for needed items for siblings that are not of that child's father. Accountability needs to be in place with the funds that are being received from the so-called "deadbeat" dads. I believe that if this occurs, more fathers would not go to extreme lengths to not pay the mothers. If he knows that the money is going to the child exclusively, there would be a huge change in attitude of the absent parents because they will feel empowered and the bond between both parents will be more effective in the rearing of their child(ren).

Anonymous said...

Why are these men putting themselves in these situations? I am a single black women with no children. Take my advice, put your money in the bank, not on cars, clothes, jewelry and nonsense. Be more perceptive, its not hard to figure out why someone wants you whether the attraction is physical, spiritual or financial. Most importantly, PROTECT YOURSELF, if your'e not sure want children with the woman abstain or where protection.

LISA VAZQUEZ said...

Hello there everyone,

I am sure that this view is unpopular but I have talked to far tooooo many black men who used shallow criteria in selecting relationship partners and are NOW paying dearly for their stupidity.

I am not defending women who are exploitative and manipulative in using children as "pawns" in the emotional and mental games to punish a former lover or marital partner.

I am simply saying that perhaps some of these men who are whining about all the drama that they are enduring need to take a look in the mirror and ASK how it is they attracted and CHOSE what they did.

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa

You are welcome to visit:
http://blackwomwenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Someone earlier said that most of these single mothers who are receiving child support are using it on their nails, hair, etc...I beg to differ that these women are getting assistance from the government and not receiving child support. Still wrong because they are irresponsible parents. That's an issue that begins long before you get to the child support agency which you only went to because DHS required it because they are having to provide for this/these children because the father is NOT. Even though the court system does need to be fixed, so that dad's who are stepping up to the plate and taking responsibility won't be unfairly discouraged, there are way too many who make this system necessary. I was married to a man who wanted us to leave the court system out of it. Then he wanted to pay a $145.00 monthly IRS bill in the place of "child support" for 2 children that he fathered. I had to force him to keep a regular visiting schedule because he wanted to come when it was convenient for him. He's one of these dad's who says that the system is treating him unfairly when it's that he doesn't want to be held accountable for his actions. What if what "he thinks is enough" is NO WHERE NEAR ENOUGH to take care of his responsibility? He feared that I would try to drain him or that I would take his children but that was not and never would be the case. I insisted that he have equal/shared custody. And he's still upset about having to pay $116.00 a month in child support which has never changed since the divorce 6 years ago and will go down when my daughter graduates in June. Is the system harsh on some, yes, but there are also agencies that men can go to to seek help to fight for their rights as fathers and if I were a father, I'd rather sacrifice and fight out of love for my child than try to blame my irresponsibility on the system. Believe me, there are more mothers sacrificing and doing whatever they can to take care of their children even though the system is saying they are not poor enough, or because a dad said oh well, your problem, not mine.

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