The Politics of Attitude: Black Women on Trial

by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University, AOL Black Voices 

Serena Williams has been listed as a headliner for this year's Australian Open. The problem is that it's not clear whether she'll be allowed to play.

Because of a recent outburst in which she threatened a line judge, Williams may be banned from at least one Grand Slam tournament. According to published reports, Williams told the judge, "You don't know me. You better be right. I swear to God I'm going to take this ball and shove it down your throat."Given that a ball going down your throat might actually kill you, the judge felt that Serena had threatened her life. Then again, Serena's from Compton, a town that has become famous for finding creative ways to kill people. Serena does not, however, need to take "the hood" with her all the way to Australia.

To make matters more interesting, Serena recently got naked for the cover of ESPN magazine, certifying her status as an iconic and thought-provoking figure for the early 21st century. These two events, plus the fact that she just happens to be one of the most dominant female tennis players in history, makes her the kind of woman we'll all be talking about for the next 100 years. Our great-grandkids won't be talking much about the boring apolitical figure called Michael Jordan. We'll congratulate Tiger Woods for being the first incredibly rich black man to consistently beat the crap out of the arrogant guys at the country club. Serena Williams' name, though, will come up in classes on feminist theory, history and sociology. Like Muhammad Ali, Serena is becoming bigger than her sport, and my greatest hope is that her ability to transcend tennis is guided by a desire to serve all humanity, and not just herself. Her nude body on the cover of ESPN is her way of yelling to the world that she is more than a tennis player. I agree that she is.

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Dr. Wilmer Leon Speaks on the Murder of Derrion Albert

By

Dr. Wilmer J. Leon III, Howard University, Your Black World 

On this past Saturday, October 3, 2009 a 16 year old African American honor student, Derrion Albert was laid to rest in Chicago. This young man was beaten to death in the street while walking from school to the bus stop. Silvanus Shannon, 19, Eugene Riley, 18, Eric Carson, 16, and Eugene Bailey, 18, have all been charged with first-degree murder in Derrion’s death.

As I watched the video of this young man being beaten to death with a railroad tie I asked myself what could compel four young African American men to engage in such a wanton and willful murderous act? How could these young men have such disregard for another human being’s life that they would beat him to his death, in the street, in broad day light? What is the basis of their rage, their anger?

I then asked myself, where are their fathers? I made an assumption and came to the conclusion that their fathers must be absent, not active or engaged in their lives. This antisocial rage, this anger is probably in part a response to their being raised without the benefit of knowing the love of their fathers. If these young men were asked to explain what drove them to this act; they most likely would not be able to articulate a clear response. They probably do not know. If they do know, they would be too ashamed to say.

As a man who was blessed to be raised by two loving parents; I clearly understand the power of love. At the age of 50, I am still blessed to be able to talk with my almost 90 year old father every day (I lost my mother last March); hear his voice, seek his counsel; feel his love. As far as I have been able to come based upon knowing my father’s love, I can’t begin to imagine how dysfunctional I would be without it.

Click to read.

Dr Boyce Watkins on AOL Black Voices – 10/2/09

 

Dr Boyce: Think Nike's Done with Michael Vick? Think Again

• I was excited to hear that Nike signed Michael Vick again after his dog fighting ordeal. You can ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in BV Black Spin | Comments (0)

Financial Lovemaking: Managing "Baby Mama Drama"

• Most of us know about "baby mama drama," since some of that drama may occur within your own home. ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in BV on Money | Comments (0)

Dr Boyce and Farai Chideya Discuss Life as an African American

• In the video below, Farai Chideya and I are on NPR "News and Notes" discussing the economy of the ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in BV Black Spin | Comments (0)

Dr. Boyce: Black Scholars Speak Out on the Sale of Ebony Magazine

• I've always felt that the role of black scholars is to speak up and out on issues of relevance to ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in BV Black Spin | Comments (0)

Senate Finance Rejects the Public Option on Health Insurance

• Liberal Democrats chose not to inject the widely debated Public Option into the healthcare ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in Black Voices Insurance | Comments (0)

Dr Boyce Money: Learning Entrepreneurship from Madam CJ Walker

• The other day, I caught up with Fenorris Pearson, CEO of Global Consumer Innovations. Fenorris is ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in BV on Money | Comments (0)

The Cheapest Car in the World, but you can't buy it in the US

• At $2500, the Tato Nano is the cheapest car in the world. But you can't buy it in the US and some ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in Black Voices Auto Insurance | Comments (0)

Financial Lovemaking: Who Keeps the Ring if the Engagement is Called Off?

• This video below answers an important question that many of us may end up confronting at some ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in BV on Money | Comments (3)

Dr. Boyce and Rev. Al Sharpton on the Death of Derrion Albert

• I spoke with Rev. Al Sharpton in our weekly meeting on his radio show, which you can listen to ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in BV Black Spin | Comments (13)

Company Makes Money from Deadly Urban Trend: "Sipping Syrup"

• You've probably heard the phrase "sippin syrup," used in reference to the act of mixing cough ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in BV on Money | Comments (1)

What you MUST Know About Your Property Insurance

• Nippets of insurance news you can use: Things your property insurance doesn't cover: In our last ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in Black Voices Insurance | Comments (1)

Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian Get Married: Questions I'd Like to Ask

• Today, we are going to use an interesting story in black celebrity news to teach a short lesson ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in BV on Money | Comments (30)

Dr. Boyce and Rev. Al Sharpton Discuss Barack Obama, Black Politics, David Paterson

• This week, Rev. Al Sharpton and I discussed President Barack Obama's racialized fight with the ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in BV Black Spin | Comments (2)

President Obama Talks Health Care at Congressional Black Caucus Conference

• In an appropriate show of respect, President Barack Obama addressed the Congressional Black Caucus ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in Black Voices Insurance | Comments (9)

Don't Let Your Spouse Control All of Your Finances

• Financial News Blast for the week of September 26, 2009 - Click on the link for the title to read ... Read More
• Posted by Boyce Watkins, PhD in BV on Money | Comments (1)

 

These articles are written by Dr Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University, Resident Scholar for AOL Black Voices, Your Black World and TheGrio.com

Dr Boyce Watkins: Obama’s Stuck in a Racial Twilight Zone

Dr. Boyce Watkins, Syracuse University , MSNBC’s TheGrio.com 

A few years ago, Dr. Cornel West wrote an outstanding book called "Race Matters." In the book, he explains why a post-racial America is not yet a reality. Race certainly matters in our nation, and we don't need to look any further than the anti-Obama lynch mobs to find evidence of this fact.

What is most interesting is that the people who hate Obama for being black don't even realize that this is the reason they hate him. That's how the social sickness called "racism" sneaks into the very fabric of the social infrastructure on which our country operates.

President Obama's recent experience is yet another reminder that the disease of racism has its greatest impact on those who think they've been cured. In spite of his continuous efforts to "just get along" with those on the right wing, they have insisted upon engaging in some of the most pathetic, thug-like behavior imaginable, creating a climate unlike anything our country has seen in the last 30 years.

If you think this has nothing to do with Obama being black, you need to open a history book. Lynch mobs rarely attacked a black man just for being black. They attacked him for being black and doing something that white people found to be unacceptable.

Click to read on MSNBC’s TheGrio.com.

Is the Obama Presidency in Trouble?

By Christopher Metzler

President Obama’s presidency is in peril for two primary reasons. The first, his inability to be a transformational leader to an American public hungry for it is of his own making. The second, the thinly veiled demonstration of racism unskillfully disguised as “concern for country” is both to be expected and not of his own making. 

First, President Obama came into to office promising “change that we can believe in.” However, on the signature issue of change, health care reform, he has not led; choosing instead to send a litany of mixed messages as to whether  he would turn the Byzantine labyrinth that is the American health care system on its head. A transformational leader takes bold, decisive, innovative action if he or she believes that it is right for the country. Thus far, on health care, the President has not demonstrated transformational leadership; he has pledged fidelity to the status quo.

Click to read more.

Dr. Elaina George: What’s Wrong with Healthcare?

 

In this episode of Medicine on Call, Dr. Elaina George interviews Jason Rosenbaum from The Seminal, a healthcare publication.  What is wrong with healthcare?  What is the state of healthcare reform?  What are the goals for healthcare?   Why is it taking so long to fix?

 

Click here to listen!

Wilmer Leon: Serena Needs to Learn to Play by the Rules

 

By

Dr. Wilmer J. Leon III

This past Saturday evening, on a second serve at 15-30, 5-6 in the second set at the U.S. Open semifinals, Serena Williams was called for a foot fault by the line judge. Based upon the judges call, Ms. Williams walked towards the judge, pointed her racquet at the judge and launched into an “f-bomb” laden tie raid saying in part, “If I could, I would take this @#$#ing ball and shove it down your @#$#ing throat…"

This exchange resulted in Ms. Williams being penalized a point for unsportsmanlike conduct. This penalty resulted in the match being awarded to her opponent, Kim Clijsters. Some are now questioning the chair umpire and tournament referee Brian Earley’s decision. With Ms. Williams being African American, many are crying foul based on race. Others are objecting to what some believe to be a ticky-tack call, especially at such a key point in a match.

Click to read.

Your Black News: Glenn Beck Paying a Huge Price for Obama Insult

Glenn Beck returns to Fox News Channel on Monday after a vacation with fewer companies willing to advertise on his show than when he left, part of the fallout from calling President Barack Obama a racist.

A total of 33 Fox advertisers, including Wal-Mart Stores Inc., CVS Caremark, Clorox and Sprint, directed that their commercials not air on Beck's show, according to the companies and ColorofChange.org, a group that promotes political action among blacks and launched a campaign to get advertisers to abandon him. That's more than a dozen more than were identified a week ago.

While it's unclear what effect, if any, this will ultimately have on Fox and Beck, it is already making advertisers skittish about hawking their wares within the most opinionated cable TV shows.

The Clorox Co., a former Beck advertiser, now says that "we do not want to be associated with inflammatory speech used by either liberal or conservative talk show hosts." The maker of bleach and household cleaners said in a statement that it has decided not to advertise on political talk shows.

 

Click to read.

Is Healthcare Reform on Life Support? – Dr. Wilmer Leon

By

Dr. Wilmer J. Leon III

According to 2008 U.S Census Bureau data approximately 47 million or 15.8 percent of the U.S. population, were without health insurance during 2006 — a 4.9 percent increase. In 2005, census figures showed that 44.8 million people, or about 15.3 percent of the population, lacked health insurance coverage. According to a report released by the Institute on Medicine, the average cost of family health-care coverage more than doubled from 1999 to 2008, from $1,543 to $3,354.

Based upon these realities, presidential candidate Obama made health-care reform a central theme of his campaign. He promised to achieve universal health care in his first term and to cut the average family's health care health-care costs by $2,500. In the on-going health care reform debate it is very important to remember that as a result of this and other campaign promises, President Obama won the 2008 presidential election with 53% of the popular vote to Senator McCain’s 46% and 68% of the Electoral College vote to McCain’s 36%.

According to a New York Times/CBS News poll taken in June, 85 percent of respondents said the health care system needed to be fundamentally changed or completely rebuilt. According to a June poll conducted by the Employee Benefit Research Institute 83 percent of respondents favored and only 14 percent opposed “creating a new public health insurance plan that anyone can purchase.” These numbers indicate that health care reform is very important to the American people.

Click to read.

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The Irony of Obama’s Fear Language

By Dr. Boyce Watkins

www.DrBoyceMoney.com

Let’s be clear: This recession has become President Barack Obama’s personal War on Terror. Like the War on Terror, the enemy is evasive, the challenge is global, international cooperation is necessary, and the battle is unlike any other in our nation’s history. Wars are good for political business: when people get scared, politicians get a blank check to fulfill their legislative agenda. After 9/11, President Bush used fear to get the entire nation to sign onto the Patriot Act, and years later, we are wondering if someone is going to tap our cell phones and illegally imprison us for not eating our Freedom Fries. Bad legislation is like an STD: you can pick it up with a snap decision, but you pay the price for the next 20 years.

Click to read more.

 

Technorati Tags: black scholars,black professors,african american scholars,african american professors,barack obama,black money,african american money,black politics,african american politics

Dr Marc Lamont Hill Discusses Michael Steele

by Dr. Marc Lamont Hill

Columbia University

Over the past week, the political world has been tuned into a highly  unusual soap opera involving Republican Committee Chair Michael Steele  and conservative radio jock Rush Limbaugh. After Limbaugh was publicly  lambasted for stating that he wanted President Obama’s agenda to fail,  Democratic leaders wisely used the moment as an opportunity to anoint  the polarizing pundit as the de facto leader of the GOP. Steele, the  actual leader of the party, dismissed Limbaugh as a mere “entertainer”  whose show trades in “ugly” and “incendiary” remarks. Limbaugh soon  fired back, telling Steele to do his job and to stop acting like a  “talking head media star.”

Of course, partisan infighting is not uncommon in politics –though  such public spats are typically the property of the Democrats.  The  difference, however, has been the party’s response. Instead of  rallying around its newly appointed leader Steele, GOP honchos have  either taken the side of Rush Limbaugh or remained conspicuously silent. Even Steele himself caved into Limbaugh, apologizing for his  remarks and removing any lingering doubt about who the real don is.
By allowing Michael Steele to be publicly undressed by a party  extremist, Republicans have tacitly confirmed what many of us already  knew: they haven’t changed one bit. Despite their post-November promises to rise above bitter partisanship, the GOP decided to cosign  Limbaugh’s antipatriotic machinations. Instead of living up to their  promise to broaden their message and appeal, Republicans have instead opted to defer to the steward of its most vile, ignorant, and bigoted  constituency. Most disturbingly, they have legitimized their antidemocratic enterprise by hiring a black man,  but giving him no more political muscle than the queen of England.

To be clear, I am not trying to diss Michael Steele, who I know personally and like a great deal despite our political differences. My concern is that the seductive aroma of power and prestige have  diverted his attention from the harsh realities of his circumstance. 
Like many prominent African Americans, Steele has climbed the heights  of white society under the false premise that he is being judged purely on merit rather than color. This couldn’t be further from the  truth. While the Republican party is willing to use Steele’s black  face to celebrate its ostensible progress, it is equally committed to  reducing him to nothing more than a paper champion. Hopefully, Brother  Steele will stop drinking the Kool-Aid long enough to recognize this  and come back home.

Technorati Tags: marc lamont hill,michael steele

Holder Refers to US as a “Nation of Cowards” during Black History Month

Eric Holder, the nation's first black attorney general, said Wednesday the United States was "a nation of cowards" on matters of race, with most Americans avoiding candid discussions of racial issues. In a speech to Justice Department employees marking Black History Month, Holder said the workplace is largely integrated but Americans still self-segregate on the weekends and in their private lives.

"Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial we have always been and I believe continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards," Holder said.

Race issues continue to be a topic of political discussion, but "we, as average Americans, simply do not talk enough with each other about race."

Holder's speech echoed President Barack Obama's landmark address last year on race relations during the hotly contested Democratic primaries, when the then-candidate urged the nation to break "a racial stalemate we've been stuck in for years" and bemoaned the "chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races." Obama delivered the speech to try to distance himself from the angry rhetoric of his former pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

 

Click to read.

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Barack Obama News: Stimulus May Affect Obama’s Agenda

It is a quick, sweet victory for the new president, and potentially a historic one. The question now is whether the $789 billion economic stimulus plan agreed to by Congressional leaders on Wednesday is the opening act for a more ambitious domestic agenda from President Obama or a harbinger of reduced expectations.

Related

Deal Reached in Congress on $789 Billion Stimulus Plan(February 12, 2009)

President Obama and Gov. Tim Kaine on Wednesday at a parkway project in Springfield, Va., that could get stimulus money.Both the substance of his first big legislative accomplishment and the way he achieved it underscored the scale of the challenges facing the nation and how different a political climate this is from the early stages of recent administrations.

While it hammered home the reality of bigger, more activist government, the economic package was not the culmination of a hard-fought ideological drive, like Lyndon B. Johnson’s civil rights and Great Society programs, orRonald Reagan’s tax cuts, but rather a necessary and hastily patched-together response to an immediate and increasingly dire situation. On the domestic issues Mr. Obama ran and won on — health care, education, climate change, rebalancing the distribution of wealth — the legislation does little more than promise there will be more to come.

In cobbling together a plan that could get through both the House and the Senate, Mr. Obama prevailed, but not in the way he had hoped. His inability to win over more than a handful of Republicans amounted to a loss of innocence, a reminder that his high-minded calls for change in the practice of governance had been ground up in a matter of weeks by entrenched forces of partisanship and deep, principled differences between left and right.

In the end, Congress did not come together to address what Mr. Obama has regularly suggested is a crisis that could rival the Great Depression. What consensus has been forged so far is likely to be tested in the months to come as he faces scrutiny over the effectiveness of the stimulus package and the likelihood that he will have to ask Congress for substantially more money to heal the fractures in the financial system.

So this was hardly a moment for cigars.

If this is the 21st-century version of Franklin D. Roosevelt’s 100 Days, Mr. Obama seems to be pursuing it more as an urgent but imposed necessity than as a self-selected mission.

While he has deployed his political capital freely to win approval of the package and to begin pushing his version of a financial-system rescue, he has left little doubt that he is eager to move on to the rest of his domestic agenda. At his news conference on Monday night, Mr. Obama said with a hint of exasperation that a costly economic rescue package “wasn’t how I envisioned my presidency beginning.” Regardless of the government’s budgetary straits, Mr. Obama has signaled that he sees his other signature initiatives not just as salvageable but as more urgent than ever.

Click to read more.

Technorati Tags: obama stimulus plan,barack obama,president barack obama,black news,african american news,black politics,african american politics

Legal Implications of Living on the DownLow

By Syreeta L. McNeal, CPA, JD

Recently, New York Knick’s basketball player, Eddy Curry, a married father of several kids, received notice of a sexual-harassment lawsuit by his former limo driver, Kuchinsky. Kuchinsky is alleging that Curry tried to solicit gay sexual activity from him while working as a 24/7 chauffer for the NBA hoop star and his family.[1] With the national press coverage of this story, I am reminded of the movie,Cover, which explored the current situation that appears to be facing many black families. Cover is a film about a devoted, churchgoing wife, and mother whose faith is shattered when she discovers that her husband is living a secret double life.[2] Also, there is a 30-minute internet movie, Results, which tackles the same type of betrayal and shows how the couple tackles it in the span of one night.[3] So, as it relates to married men who happen to cheat on their spouse on thedown low, I ask, what’s love got to do with it? I understand the question is paying tribute to the hit single by Tina Turner. However, I think people should explore the reasons why married men choose to cheat on the down low and should a wife, who takes a vow of fidelity with her husband, continue in the relationship after discovering the betrayal.

People might ask why a lawyer would write an article on a social topic such as married men who cheat on the down low. Well, a lawyer is considered an attorney and counselor at law. When a wife chooses to get a divorce due to infidelity from their husbands cheating on the down low, it is important for lawyers to understand the origin of the relationship and what caused the heartache to their client so that they can effectively provide legal advice and counseling for their client. In a majority of states, infidelity is just one factor in how marital property is divided between former married couples. Even though a wife might want her husband, who cheated on the down low, to get nothing and pay dearly for the betrayal, the courts in a majority of states will not find fault (e.g. infidelity) a determining factor in the division of marital property. Therefore, it behooves the lawyer to try other methods of counseling to explain the law to jilted married clients.

This article will analyze the meaning of love, the reasons why people get married, and what actions people should take to minimize the potential of being married to men who cheat on the down low.

Meaning of Love

Love has many meanings. Webster dictionary defines Love as a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (e.g. maternal love for a child).[4] Also, love is an attraction based on sexual desires (e.g. affection and tenderness felt by lovers).[5] Love is also an affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests (e.g. love for old schoolmates).[6] Also, love is a warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion (e.g. love of the sea).[7] Love can also be used as a term of endearment.[8] Love is also the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.[9] Love is a sexual embrace.[10] In all, love embraces a form that is erotic, romantic, familial, platonic, and religious.

Similar to Webster dictionary, Christianity embraces four forms of love: Agapē, Philia, Eros, and Storge.[11] Agapē means charitable, selfless, altruistic, and unconditional.[12] It is parental love seen as creating goodness in the world.[13] It is the way God is seen to love humanity and it is seen as the kind of love that Christians aspire to have for others.[14] Philia is defined as the human response to something that is found to be delightful.[15] Also, it is known as "brotherly love".[16] Eros is defined as sexual love.[17] Storge is defined as the needy child-to-parent love.[18]

One thing that is fascinating is the explanation of what Eros is. Eros is a very passionate love, with sensual desire and longing.[19] In the classical world, the phenomenon of love was generally understood as a kind of madness or, as the Greeks put it, theia mania ("madness from the gods").[20] This love passion is best illustrated by a scheme involving “love arrows” or “love darts.”[21] The source of the arrows is said to be the image of the beautiful love object itself.[22] If the arrows arrive at the lover’s eyes, they would then travel to and ‘pierce’ and ‘wound’ his or her heart and overwhelm him/her with desire and longing.[23] This creates an image of an “arrow’s wound” where an oxymoron of pleasure and pain is created.[24]

As illustrated above, love has different meanings. Saying “I love you” to a person can mean a variety of things. The issue for married couples who are dealing with husbands who cheat on the down low isnot whether they love their wives. The issue is what type of love does husbands who cheat on the down low have for their wives. In my opinion, this is the heart of the conflict that exists between married couples who have husbands who cheat on the down low. Next, it is important to understand why people marry.

Why People Marry

Marriage is a social, religious, spiritual or legal union of individuals.[25] People marry for many reasons, but usually they marry for one or more of the following reasons:[26]
· legal, social, and economic stability;
· the formation of a family unit;
· procreation and the education and nurturing of children;
· legitimizing sexual relations;
· public declaration of love; or
· to obtain citizenship

In almost all Protestant forms of Christianity, they hold marriage to be ordained by God for the union between a man and a woman.[27]They see the primary purpose of this union to be to glorify God by demonstrating his love to the world.[28] Other secondary purposes of marriage include intimate companionship, rearing children and mutual support for both husband and wife to fulfill their life callings.[29]

Like love, people marry for a variety of reasons. What is extremely interesting is that when protestant Christians marry their primary purpose is for the union to glorify God. One example of the betrayal for protestant Christians is when married men cheat on the down low. This action is not one that glorifies God especially when the bible states that men (or women) who practice homosexuality will not inherit the kingdom of God.[30] So, the conflict exists and men and women need to be aware of who their partners are before entering into marriage.

The Reality of the Conflict of Down Low Activity with Marriage

Some married men who cheat on the down low believe that down low activity is similar when men cheat with other women. I beg to differ. As these movies illustrate, a woman cannot compete with a man sexually. Women and men are not equal in physical form. Men and women have different sexual features and different purposes of use for these features. I equate the differences between men and women similar to placing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together. Do like parts unite or do opposite pieces fit together?

If a married man cheats on the down low, they have a sexual attraction for another man. Sorry ladies. Physically, there is nothing you can do, except do a sex change, to sexually fulfill a man who wants to sleep with other men. A married man might love his wife, but the sexual love a wife is craving from her husband does not exist the way she wants or believes it should exist especially if this type of infidelity occurs after the coupled exchanged wedding vows to be married. There are always signs of men who have a sexual attraction for another man. However, you have to open your eyes and find out who your spouse truly is before you enter into marriage.

Attributes of Counseling Before Marriage

One way to discover whether your significant partner is ready to be married is to participate in marriage counseling. In essence, you are treating your marriage as a long term investment and gathering as much information about your spouse before you enter into marriage. As illustrated above, love has many meanings and people marry for different reasons. Just because someone says “I love you” is not all you need to know to venture into marriage. What a man and woman need to find out from each other is what type of love exists and is it reciprocally felt. If your potential spouse only feels an admiration for you and you feel romantic love for that person, then you need to find this out before you venture into marriage and not get married to the person. Also, what are the reasons why the man and woman are getting married and is it reciprocal. If your potential spouse wants to get married to obtain citizenship and you want to get married public declaration of love, then you need to find this out before you venture into marriage and not get married to this person.

Ideally, married couples expect their spouses to solely want them only. They believe their spouse will be the complement human being to help fulfill their needs mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. No one is perfect, but the union of a man and woman is expected to be one that works to perfection as seen in God’s light. When married men cheat on the down low, there is an erotic and sexual attraction for people of the same sex that their wife can’t fulfill. A potential spouse needs to know this before hand and not marry the individual especially if they seek their spouse to solely want them only.

Effective marriage counseling will be able to discover the compatibility of the couple. Marriage counseling should emphasize substance over form. The counseling should explore the type of love that exists and if it is reciprocally felt. Also, marriage counseling should explore the reasons why each person wants to marry and whether it is reciprocal. Furthermore, there is nothing wrong with doing an extensive background check on people before getting married. When you choose to marry someone, you are making a societal and private contract that this individual is someone you will honor and cherish, to have and to hold, until death do you part. With any type of long term investment, you need to know what you are getting into. This is not to say that marriages will not have problems, but if you choose someone to be married to you, you are making a long term investment in that individual expecting that the good will outweigh the bad. Know what you are getting into so you canminimize suffering betrayals like having married men cheat on the down low.

Legal Disclaimer: This site provides information about the law designed to keep readers informed of pertinent legal matters affecting the African-American community. But legal information is not the same as legal advice -- the application of law to an individual's specific circumstances. Although we go to great lengths to make sure our information is accurate and useful, we recommend you consult a lawyer in your specific location if you want professional assurance that our information, and your interpretation of it, is appropriate to your particular situation.

[1]http://www.nypost.com/seven/01132009/news/regionalnews/knick_gets_called_for_sex_foul_149982.htm
[2] http://www.coverthemovie.com/
[3] http://www.imdb.com/video/wab/vi3195994137/
[4] http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Love
[5] Id.
[6] Id.
[7] Id.
[8] Id.
[9] Id.
[10] Id.
[11] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_(religious_views)
[12] Id.
[13] Id.
[14] Id.
[15] Id.
[16] Id.
[17] Id.
[18] Id.
[19] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eros_(love)
[20] Id.
[21] Id.
[22] Id.
[23] Id.
[24] Id.
[25] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage
[26] Id.
[27] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_views_of_marriage
[28] Id.
[29] Id.
[30] 1 Corinthians 6:9

Technorati Tags: black relationships,african american love,african american relationships,on the down low,black men in america,black love,black men,black women,african american men,african american women

Your Black President: Meet Michelle Obama

Technorati Tags: michelle obama,barack obama,african american women,black women,black leadership

What Does Barack Obama Think About the Middle Class?

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Dr Boyce Watkins: The Real Story Behind the Financial Crisis

by Dr. Boyce Watkins

http://www.boycewatkins.com/

1) FDR had it partially right when he said that "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." While we have other worries as well, the greatest obstacle to economic progress is the HUGE psychological impact of Americans watching the stock market plummet right in front of their faces. This is going to cause consumer spending, lending, borrowing and investing to freeze like a deer in stadium lights. When people stop spending, economies start dying.

2) This crisis was a long time coming. De-regulation pushes down on the economic gas, but increases the chances of an economic crash. The dramatic growth of the past 8 years was a result of the same policies that are leading to the huge challenges we are faced with today.

3) Much of the impact of this crisis is a financial illusion. A large percentage of the devaluation in stock and home prices is driven by the fact that the original value was incorrect in the first place. When prices are out of whack, they must correct themselves. While a crisis may also be a correction, a correction is not necessarily a crisis.

4) Prepare for a period of "Financial McCarthyism" in America. Many baby boomers are closing in on retirement, and scared to death. To boot, many of these individuals have not properly prepared for retirement. When Americans get scared, politicians get nasty. We will likely see some of the most Draconian legislation in history.

5) What makes this crisis such a concern is that even before the meltdown, the economy was already quite fragile. With soaring gas and food prices, the economy was the #1 issue on the minds of most Americans. The decline of many financial services firms was, for the most part, a logical continuation of the fact that many homeowners were defaulting at the start of the year. This crisis is most certainly going to shift the political landscape and might give us our first Black president.

6) Yes, this market drop was the largest in history, 770 points in one day is nothing to sneeze at. But keep in mind that this drop doesn’t even make the top 10 in terms of percentage declines.

7) The American consumer is not off the hook. The “Wall Street Greed” angle of this story completely denies the fact that many American consumers tend to overspend and over borrow. Many Americans were buying homes they could not afford and borrowing against their home equity in order to go on vacation. It takes two to tango and banks rarely forced anyone to take the loans being offered to them. If Obama can tell Black Men to take more responsibility for our economic challenges, then he should be willing to say that to the rest of America.

Black Scholars or Black Ballers? Black Athletes May Take Euro Money vs. College

 

A year ago, there was speculation that former shoe company czar Sonny Vaccaro was set to go barnstorming over in Europe with a group that would include O.J. Mayo, Bill Walker and a few other elite players coming out of high school. At the time, it seemed pretty far-fetched that an American-born player would bypass the college experience to play in anonymity outside his home country.

 

It didn't end up happening, but now it appears as though Brandon Jennings, arguably the top incoming freshman in the country, could become a trendsetter of sorts and opt for overseas money over a one-year college experience at Arizona.

 

"He's definitely considering it," said Kelly Williams, the father of New Jersey Nets point guard Marcus Williams and also a close advisor to the Jennings family. "Why wouldn't he?"

 

"If it's a sweet enough deal, why wouldn't he look into it?" Williams added. "But there's nothing definitive right now. They are in the process of investigating it, but he's not going to go just to become the first kid to go overseas. We're not going to put him in a bad situation. We'd try and put him in a situation where he can grow and develop."

 

Jennings first hatched the idea from Vaccaro, who is on a personal crusade against the NCAA and NBA because of the restrictions that those organizations impose on young basketball players.

 

Jennings' camp said that whether or not he achieves the SAT score (he's expected to get the results of his latest test any day now) that will make him eligible to play college ball at Arizona is irrelevant with regards to his decision to play overseas.

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African American Scholary Thought on the Direction of Civil Rights

an open letter to Dr. Boyce Watkins

A little personal background...This political process supports an hypothesis that I have submitted to students in classes for nearly 20 years while doing adjunct faculty work. Among other social science coursework, I teach social welfare policy and urban politics. Naturally, the current political culture, with respect to recent history, results in spirited discussion and interesting papers. I also speak as a brother; a baby boomer and; a resident of an almost exclusively black and not too prosperous suburb of Cleveland, Ohio.

The above mentioned hypothesis...It has been apparent to me for some time that African-Americans, for good reasons (and some not so good) do not understand the fundamental differences between electoral politics and protest politics. But, this election due to its duration and complexity, is becoming a graduate course for the community. Friends and colleagues are redefining themselves with respect to the manner in which they and other black folk should demonstrate civic participation. We are volunteering thoughts and feelings to each other unlike anything I have seen since the "rap sessions" of the early seventies.

Rather than applying the "conventional wisdom" that so frequently results in myths and derogatory conclusions, I believe we need dialogue and research that addresses the relationships between black civic/political participation and the existence (absence) of the types of institutions that engineer and support political participation. All the while remembering that African Americans are a minority people and the blueprint for these institutions generally reflects the dominant culture.

Today's political process, at least as we view the percentages of black voters who support Obama, indicates the utility of electoral politics as a factor in creating cultural bonds that offset social and economic divisions. (sounds like another hypothesis in the making)

I hope that of African American academics like yourself and Michael Dyson can assist us as we negotiate the political, cultural and social learning curves related to blacks taking on leadership responsibilities in electoral politics. This is not to place an unbearable onus on you. That would be unfair. The often amorphous, but real, "black community" must become engaged in every respect, by all forms of media to overcome the habit of ignoring its scholars. Your website is so important in that regard.

Barack Obama is living the "Jackie Robinson Syndrome" as he negotiates the dominant cultures' institutions in the absence of black institutions designed to support and strengthen him. Stokely Carmichael and Charles Hamilton forewarned us 40 plus years ago in the classic book Black Power about the need to develop political institutions that are reflective of the culture. Again, I believe there is a a basic assumption to be considered...politics, whether they be electoral, protest or those politics associated with specified public policy, can and will define culture.

Additionally, Black Power's thesis was, in some regards, old wine in new wineskins if the messages of DuBois, Garvey and some others are carefully examined.

So now that we have all been caught unprepared by the politics of today, the leadership of academicians who still have a semblance of a resonating voice, is "so welcomed". We must support you and dialogue with you just as we make every effort to do the same for and with Barack Obama. I hope Obama's organization functions so that he can be reasonably receptive. I worry because I do not see the strong black institutions required to support this idea.

Personally, I cringed twice-over at Obama's politicizing of black fatherhood just as you expressed on your website. I heartily agree with your sentiments about that. I also believe that Obama, as a politician needs the fuel for more cogent commentary and that must come from all of us...ie black educators, researchers, teachers, social workers etc.

In addition, that unfortunate commentary was an example of the need for social science to provide us all with knowledge that countervails the current diatribe that currently prevails about black folks.

Again, I highlight the merits of your website as well as Michael Dyson's book that answered Bill Cosby . I just wish I could receive your beautifully thought out sentiments directly. I will sign on again.

Very Sincerely,

Justin White

Why Barack Was Wrong on Father's Day

by Dr. Boyce Watkins
www.BoyceWatkins.com

I received a lot of email from both men and women about my comments on Barack Obama's Father's Day speech. I watched the speech, hoping that I could find some way that I was wrong about Barack. Perhaps his speech writers, surely the best in the business, slid in a line or two conditionalizing his statements to remind us that Father's Day is a day to celebrate good fathers, not to spend all our time mulling over the bad ones.

I looked and looked for that one line of salvation and never found it. That makes me sad, since many of the emails I received were from black fathers who came right out of the Bill Cosby book of parenthood (even though Cosby has made some dirty mistakes of his own as a dad). These men, some of whom were conservatives or in the military, did not understand why little time was spent giving them the same respect we give women on Mother's Day. Instead, they were fed the same old stereotypes of black male irresponsibility. These were the same stereotypes that allowed their ex-wives or mothers of their children to feel completely vindicated for any poor treatment bestowed upon them as they worked hard to stay in their childrens' lives. They were the same stereotypes that keep the 50% of divorced white males of America comfortable that their broken homes are not as bad as the broken homes of black men. After all, the presidential candidates conveniently forget to critique White America in the same way they critique the black male. I thought Obama was 50% white? Doesn't that mean that he is as much a part of White America (thus entitled to critique) as he is Black America? Or is he just the Black Candidate?

To spend father's day obsessing over what black fathers are doing wrong is like going to someone's birthday party with a list of all the things you hate about them. Even if I'd been born with a terrible mother, I would not spend Mother's Day saying "Mom, there are far too many days when you are not there for me the way you should be." It would be even worse if I then went on to tell my father that the breakup of our family was all my mother's fault and that he is completely relieved of any guilt whatsoever.

That is what Obama did when he patted black women on the back and essentially said "That's ok. We know how all those black men are treating you. They're just bad and you're good. Let's spend Father's Day talking about you and how disappointed we are in them." He was preaching to the choir, since I am willing to bet that many of the men in that church were loyal and dedicated fathers, either sitting confused that they were being chastised on their special day or nodding their heads in agreement that black men are collectively a pack of screw ups. "Some do the right thing, but doing the wrong thing is the norm". Does anyone wonder how deformed your existence becomes when you consider the most pathetic segment of American society to be people who look like yourself?

This strikes a chord with me because I have seen it up close. I have seen black women who swear up and down that the reason every man they meet doesn't want to be with them implies that there is something wrong with all men. I see black men who refuse to date black women because they feel that black women are all angry, bitter and nasty. In both scenarios, I correct the individual and encourage him/her to look in the mirror. If all of your relationships are falling apart, you are the only variable that is consistently present in every relationship you've ever had. Either you are consistently choosing the wrong person to procreate with, or you are consistently mistreating the right people who come your way. Women who choose good men and treat them well remain happily married. That's just a fundamental fact and I, as a man, know this because I have chosen the wrong woman at times, and there have been times when I've not given a woman the respect she deserved. In either case, I ended up disappointed.

What is true is that both men and women play a role in the survival of our families. When a divorce or breakup occurs, the children are usually given to the woman. Also, most divorces are not always the sole fault of one party or the other. So, if we are going to define the term "deadbeat dads", we cannot generalize that term to include any man who does not live with his kids. Senator Obama DID NOT, to my knowledge, make that distinction.

What is most interesting is Obama's claim that "far too many men are not in the home....they've chosen to be boys instead of men". This implies that if you get a divorce and the kids live with the woman, then you are effectively behaving as a little boy. This further signals that if Michelle Obama were to divorce Barack and keep the kids, he would effectively become a deadbeat. I am sure that Senator Obama, who would likely spend plenty of time with his children and pay plenty of child support, would become agitated to hear someone speaking about him and other black men as a pack of dead beats, especially on Father's Day. Perhaps he could be consoled with the words "No, we weren't talking about you. We just avoided celebrating you on Father's Day because we wanted to place all the blame on the deadbeats, which includes most black men."

That is where black men are coming from. On Mother's Day, I am not going to spend one second talking about how "there are too many bad baby's mamas keep their child's father from seeing his kids", that "angry black women are divorcing their husbands and taking their children and money from them", or that "black women treat men like crap and then get mad when the man leaves the relationship." I would say none of these things, even though I can name several instances in which this has happened. Instead, I am going to spend Mother's Day celebrating the successes of black women and the wonderful impact they've had on me.

As I said before, it takes two to Tango, black men aren't doing the family break up dance by themselves. Also, the dance of child-rearing is not just being done by the black mothers. Black women are certainly the backbone of the community, but black men aren't just freeloading.